No one ever talks about the hazards of being a mommy. Here's a few I have experienced so far. Granted, there are no eye witnesses and no report to file, but still, these things must be recorded somewhere!1) Beware of the cooing baby when you are changing his diaper. He may be talking or more likely about to poop directly on your hand. (this just happened!)
2) Projectile spit up can land anywhere - your shirt, the floor, the slip-covered couch, the rocking chair, or your foot or a combination of the above.
3) When the baby sticks out his tongue, he isn't playing with you. He is preparing for spit up. Numerous bouts of spit up.
4) Never wear anything you highly value. Prepare to change shirts at least 3x a day and pants probably once - see #2.
5) A warming sensation on your stomach may not be your baby snuggling up to you - it could be pee seeping out of his overfilled disposable diaper.
6) Lunch is a luxury. If you do get it, it won't be around a normal lunch time and it won't still be hot or even lukewarm.
I'm still waiting for my workman's comp, though Phil said there isn't any. The Amy's ice cream he brought home the other day will have to suffice. Oh, and that sweet baby sleeping in his room right now makes up for it too.
6 comments:
Funny! Totally agree with #5 and 6!
Luckily, Evelyn was never a big spitter so I didn't have to worry about changing shirts and projectile spitting! =)
Ahhh...so true! ;o)
Just wait 'til the day when you're at church and he decides to blow out on you when you don't have a change of close for you OR him! (not that I'm speaking from experience...ahem...)
I'm convinced that we need the change of clothes packed for ourselves almost as often as they need it.
I always had something extra in the bag when they didn't need it, but w/o fail I would forget to reload the bag on a most crucial day.
Welcome to Mommyhood. So weird how you love every tired, hungry, and dirty moment of it, too. Ok, not every, but the balance is in Ethan's favor!
I have to ask, did him pooping on you gross you out? The first time Gregory did it, I laughed, which is not what I would've expected my reaction to be.
I do remember not being able to finish a meal or at least not when it's hot (or before you cereal gets soggy), but very soon you will be able too again. :)
Cheryl - a change of clothes for myself?!! I need to go add that right now...
Melissa - I actually let out a scream as it started oozing out! That startled Ethan, but he very quickly settled into his after poop smile of success and contentment. It really is a look of satisfaction.
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