Just say yes

Onto Chapter 2....

I am working on opening my home to God. To say, it's really his not mine, and let him use it as he pleases. The author reminds us that we have to continually say yes to God to move toward holiness. Not yes one day, no another. Yes because that sounds like fun, and then no because it doesn't interest me.

She gives the example of Mary. When the angel first appeared to her, she understood her role as a bondservant who would do whatever she was asked. She didn't even fully know what that was yet. She ultimately needed to keep saying yes, no matter how far God led her off the path she had envisioned for herself. She had to give up her dreams for His. Yes to being an unwed mother, yes to living in a tiny town, yes to birthing a baby in a dirty manger, yes to having smelly, strange men hold your baby after he is first born.

I struggle with always saying yes. I say yes and do it for a while, and feel great about it, connect with God and then I start to feel like I need to reclaim something, reclaim what I feel I deserve (time, appreciation, more $).

I struggle with thinking that the dreams swirling in my head may not actually be the right dreams for me or the best ones. I remember when we were first married I just *knew* me and my husband were meant to sell everything and move overseas and become missionaries, or at least work for a humanitarian agency. I just kept waiting for Phil to jump on board. He never did. I seriously thought after every school year, "this summer we'll make the decision to quit our jobs and leave". I waited. Phil never spoke. Nor did God, to be honest. Just since Ethan was born have I realized that that dream isn't for right now. Maybe later. Definitely the desire of my heart. But I'm working on loving (and not just accepting) that God has better plans for me. Here, in Austin.

To that end, we are going to start hosting our small group in our home. And playgroup. And we are now the Connections Leaders in our New Parents class, so our home will be open each week to entertain a couple new to the class. When I said yes, God took some liberties. Yes!