Overflowing

Ethan had his 2 mo. appointment last Friday. My chunky monkey weighed in at 15 lbs. 5 oz. and 25". Yes, he was off the charts! He was actually off the charts the Thursday before that when I took him in thinking he had major acid reflux. We were going through 4 burp cloths a feeding. He had all the symptoms of acid reflux, including screaming before, during, and after his late night feedings. For weeks, I was a wreck, Phil was exhausted, and poor Ethan was hurting.

The Doctor, after a quick glance at Ethan, assured me that he did not in fact have acid reflux. How could he tell so fast? Clearly Ethan was keeping enough food down. The culprit: I was overfeeding him! Yes, you can actually do that! Who knew?! He was spewing out all the excess, causing him all kinds of discomfort. I was absolutely devastated, crying, and feeling like the worst, most inept mother ever. I mean, who overfeeds their 8 week old? The Doctor pried a bit further and asked how often I was feeding him, every 2 hours, if not sooner, I said.

Turns out I got all confused around the 6 week mark when some parenting books (first mistake) talked about the 45 min. intruder and said at this point my baby was probably going through a growth spurt and hungry so feed him if he wakes up early. BIG MISTAKE. He really just needed to be rocked back to sleep. That was the point I stopped trusting my instincts and started unquestioningly following the books. Bad Babywise, bad.

The Doctor gently suggested that we get on a bit of a schedule, as much as a 2 mo. old can be, and since that Thursday - Ethan is doing much much much better. He spits up like 25% of what he was, is happy to eat every 3 hours, the night fussiness is completely eliminated, my day is more predictable and productive, and I am getting back the energy I need. Ethan is also much happier throughout the day.

For days I felt like such a failure, though Phil reassured me that there was no way to know. We were just following the books - which are tucked neatly on the shelf, where they belong. We are knowledgeable about the characteristics of a 2 mo. old, but are now focusing on Ethan's uniqueness. Sometimes he is happily awake longer than the 2 hours the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby says is the limit. Fine. He signals he is ready to fall asleep, goes down with little more than just holding these days, and sleeps for hours. Once I realized that the books were generalizations and didn't necessarily define Ethan, we have had much more happiness and peace in our home.

I'm thankful for books and the guidance they bring, but I've learned to step back and see Ethan for the unique person that he is: not easily defined by any one book.

What about any of my mommy friends? Would you mind lifting my spirits by sharing your own story about a big mistake you made in parenting? Can you top my attempt to single handedly contribute to childhood obesity?