Not by the book

The first eight weeks of life with Ethan was anything but easy. As defined by Dr. Sears, Ethan is every bit a high needs baby. He was a classic case: would not take a paci, would just blatantly spit it out and scream if we tried to hold it to his mouth. Needed to be constantly held, or he would cry nonstop until you picked him up. He wouldn't be soothed by anything but my touch - hated swings, car rides, bouncy seats, being left alone. He needed to be rocked to sleep and then held for at least 20 min. until you could lay him down without risking him waking up immediately upon feeling his head touch the crib. And then the putting to sleep process would have to start all over. Ultimately it could take up to 45 min. to put him down to sleep. Then I would lay down exhausted.

But times have changed.

This is how Ethan is not going by the books and throwing his mommy for a loop:

* He started sleeping 5-7 hours a night around 6 weeks, just by himself. No 'teaching' from me. He is now periodically sleeping 8-9 hours through the night. Oh Glorious sleep.
* About 2 weeks ago, he stopped waking up crying. He now does this super cute yell when he wakes up that sounds something like, 'heeeeyyyy'.
* He has completely made a routine for himself. Again just about 2 weeks ago, he quit having such bad sleep habits, waking every 45 min. and needing to be rocked back to sleep. He is now on a 3 hr. schedule, which he made himself. I just follow his cues.
* He hates white noise. Over Labor Day weekend I kept forgetting to turn it on and he slept longer than usual. I tried it here the following week and even with all the apartment noise, he slept longer without it. I wonder if that was the culprit to the above sleeping problem.
* He now takes the paci to soothe himself to sleep. But, sometimes he will suck it for like 10 min., spit it out, and then, here's the kicker, makes it very clear he wants us to put him down so he can fall asleep himself!!! Yes, you read me right! Phil figured this out about 2 weeks ago. I guess that was around the 8 week mark. Ethan would grunt and grunt, and arch his back, and kick his legs, very obviously uncomfortable in every position we tried to hold him in. Phil was so frustrated and said, maybe he just wants us to put him down. I thought, yeah right, like he knows what to do if we did that and how would we know that is what he wants. Well, I was wrong. Phil put him down in his crib and after about 5 minutes of more grunting and possibly some baby babble, he was out. WHAT??!! Yes, he puts himself to sleep.

The sad part for me is I WASN'T READY! He rarely lets me hold him in my arms now until he falls asleep. Probably only about 3x a day I get the chance. And then, I just hold him. Sometimes a good 20 min. just to spite his independence. He's not a big boy yet, I tell him. I can see who he gets his strong willed personality from.

I know that is something I should not be complaining about, and I'm really not. I am very thankful for him accomplishing what is said to be a very hard milestone. I have to believe that all these positive changes came about because 1) Jesus loves me and heard my cries for help and 2) I sacrificed everything I could to the point of tears almost daily to help Ethan to know I am there for him. Nights when my legs would ache from pacing the apt. and holding him, my head would hurt from all the crying in my ear, my stomach was running on empty because there wasn't time to fix a proper lunch and get snacks in between, and my heart ached because I felt like I couldn't make him comfortable or happy.

It was a very hard and trying first 8 weeks. I realize there are plenty of mommies out there who dance the same dance I did and don't get the same results.

I am blessed and feel it and am surprisingly open to doing all of this again. Not for a very very long time of course.