Chris Tomlin, Live in Concert

On Sunday we attended our third service of Austin Stone. Chris Tomlin was back to lead worship and here is where my struggle begins. As the worship started; the bass vibrated beneath my feet, lights dimmed, and upon the first strung on the guitar thousands of hands went up around the room followed by the perfect singing voice of Chris Tomlin coupled with the tight playing of his full time band filling the gym, and that is where worship ended for me. I've never been much of a concert goer, much to Phil's dismay, but at that moment I felt so engrossed in a concert that I could not focus. I felt like I was being worked into a frenzy rather than guided into meaningful worship. I prayed, I closed my eyes, but the baby doesn't like me to stand and do that and immediately makes me feel dizzy, and so I just stood there unable to sing just praying through the words on the psychedelic patterned screen.

I have such an imagination. Bad sometimes. I started thinking, "if someone whips out a lighter, I'm outta here" and "when they pass the offering plate do I put a ticket in there or would cash or a check suffice".

I think the hard thing is focusing amidst what are to me, distractions. Chris Tomlin is amazing at what he does. He inspires worship leaders across the world to bring their congregations to a higher and deeper level of worship. But, having him back in a worship leader setting, it was impossible for me (and it appeared to me throngs of church goers) to separate the concert Chris Tomlin from the worship leader, and I got a sense that he doesn't transition well himself.

After watching him cross the stage to have a dual guitar solo with another guitarist (you know when they stand in front of each other and play), I just kind of gave up the struggle. And struggle it was. I think I enjoy seeing other people lead worship who have been affected and transformed by Chris lead in their own imperfect, yet powerful way. I like the humanness of that - their own interpretation of what songs mean to them or the congregation. Everything was too perfect, too scripted, too formulated. As it should be for a concert, but maybe not for a worship service?

I hope my heart comes through these words. This is a huge struggle for me. I'm nervous as we look for a church home here because it seems most churches are gravitating toward this type of worship to entice the current generation. And the hardest thing, this is exactly the type of worship Phil loves though he even admitted to being distracted on Sunday by Chris playing only his own songs. Anyone else struggle out there or have thoughts on the subject?