Pregnancy Breakdown

Friday I had my official first pregnancy break down. It wasn't pretty. I didn't sleep well Thursday night, Ethan decided to kick his way through most of the early morning hours, so I slept in past Phil leaving for work. I woke up thinking I would get some sewing projects done for a shower I was attending on Saturday. I walked by his nursery, and WHAM, I just started bawling. Hard, ugly sobbing. I was just so struck with how much I wanted a completely boys nursery. This being our first child, I had no idea how deeply I would feel about this.

You might remember from this post the story of our bedding. It is beautiful. But, I bought it before we knew what we were having. Big mistake. Ever since we knew it was a boy, I have been wishing I could go back and redesign the color scheme. I prayed prayed prayed for God to help me focus on other things, not be materialistic, etc. But, I would come back to, is it really that big of a deal to change it? He's not even born yet and indecision is part of pregnancy hormones, right?!

So Friday I spent most of the day sobbing, surfing the net for ideas, and then breaking down over dinner to Phil about my "huge" dilemma. When during the height of my emotion I told Phil I don't want Ethan photographed in his nursery because it wasn't my dream nursery, he said, "That's it. We're changing it." He also sweetly told me later, after I smiled for the first time that day, that I was going a bit nutty, but that he would love to work with me to create a nursery that looked more "us". What would I do without Phil? He knows me so much better than I know myself and yet he loves me all the more.