A teachable spirit

I've been thinking a lot lately about parenting. Specifically how I want to help Ethan develop healthy boundaries and grow into a strong man. Since I grew up with 3 sisters, a single mom, and all female cousins, boys and how to raise them are a complete mystery to me. To learn, I've gone right to the Teacher and have been seeking His guidance to know what to do. There are key things I want to live out:

1) I want Ethan to challenge us. I want him to feel free to say, "Mommy you say to do this, but then you do that. I don't understand.". And, I want to say authentically, "Ethan, you're right. Mommy is a sinner and *that* is something I need to repent from and talk to Jesus about. Thanks for bringing it to my attention." Instead, I have seen families that say, "What???!! How dare you attempt to convict me. I've been a Christian a lot longer than you, mister, and you are are the one who should be learning from me!!! Now, quit disrespecting me!!"
2) I want Ethan to feel free to tell us no. No, I don't want to go for a walk, I'd rather ride my bike. No, I don't want to wear the jeans, I want to wear my green pants. No, I don't want macaroni, thank you. No, I don't like that casserole you make, I'd rather have ___ for dinner. I want him to feel safe to be himself and tell us when he likes and doesn't like something. I never want him to fear us or fear being himself around us. I never want him to be who I want him to be, but rather and, most importantly, who God has created him to be.
3) I want to be a student of my son. I want to learn to observe the uniqueness God has placed in him. I never want to forget that he is a gift to us, who we are entrusted with to raise up to do God's will. He is not ours to mold into our own image.
4) I want him to always feel secure in our love for him, no matter how he behaves. I want to clearly distinguish between behavior and self. For him to know without any doubt, that his actions will never affect how we feel about him. Our love has no strings attached.

These are just the basics, for now.