Last night I received an email from one of my roommates in college, Cathleen. This past weekend one of our ZTA sisters, April, who was 36 weeks pregnant had a baby shower and the next day she didn't feel the baby moving. She went to the doctor on Tuesday and her sweet boy had already gone to be with Jesus. She immediately had a C-section. When I got the news, I started tearing up. Poor, sweet mommy. I cannot comprehend their loss. 36 weeks wasn't that long ago for me, and my heart aches for them. This was their first child.
Now I don't know what caused this and I don't think it is anything to fear for all my pregnant friends. I had read about things like this happening when I was pregnant and even had a cousin in law deliver a baby into the Lord's hands less than 2 years ago, but I knew without a doubt whatever happened during my pregnancy was part of God's perfect plan for me and I would continue to trust him no matter what. I never feared the 'what ifs' - there were too many and God is too powerful to live in fear.
So, last night, when I usually would have begrudgingly got up for the 3 night time feedings, I instead smiled as I rolled out of bed to Ethan's screaming cries of hunger (that's what I get for having an 8 lb. baby - he's 10 lbs. now). I snuggled him a little more than usual, gave him more kisses before I layed him down, and told him I loved him and was so grateful for him. I was thrown into the truth, again, that he is a gift that not all mothers receive in their timing. My heart went out again to all the mommies who have unmet children waiting for them in heaven. What a glorious reunion that will be.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. My heart goes out to her too. There were many nights I went to bed with those fears, especially Gregory's first month, and I am so grateful to be able to share in his life. What great joy and delight our little ones bring to us. I hope I never lose sight of that.
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